Melancholy Trollop

Fucking Cancer

2009-09-05T10:49:00.000-07:00

Cancer has gotten the best of me temporarily. I started chemo (Taxotere and Cytoxan) in May 2009 again. Since I went through this all in 2003 you think it would be "same old same old" but my body has taken a beating and I am older and this time it's in my lung.
I haven't been able to make my brain, hands, emotions join together and be able to blog about this until right this moment....just felt right this morning.
I have been soooooo bummed about going bald again. It took me from 2004-2008 to grow all my hair back out and now I'm bald again. I realize hair is supposed to be no big deal BUT you have to understand MY HAIR was "MY DEAL". I do not have a beautiful face, lovely figure, don't wear makeup, or know how to put an outfit together BUT I had THE HAIR. Thick, wavy, long and it's what I hid behind. It's where I received all my compliments. It's pathetic to have used my hair as a prop but if you are honest we all have "OUR Thing" that makes us feel important. Perhaps it's a job title, an artistic talent, etc. If you lost that how would you feel?
But I have decided no more hats until the cold weather forces me. I have been going out in public with my bald dome and trying to forget about it.
I had my 6th chemo treatment yesterday and right now I feel lousy but this blogging is somewhat distracting.
If you have breast cancer or any other cancer and wanna leave a comment I would love it. Even if you don't have cancer I'd love to hear from you.

Leslie Berven's Dad Made me Laugh

2009-09-05T10:45:00.000-07:00

Weird title I realize but he's been on my mind since he passed away 2 Christmas' ago. The man was generous, surly, hilarious, loving, frustrating, etc. But I am so glad I was able to know him in my lifetime. Talk to you soon big guy....

AWESOME Cancer Bracelet

2008-03-14T13:42:00.001-07:00

This morning I went to a bead shop with my friend Andi. With the help of the lady at DreamWeavers this bracelet was made for me!! Andi has a bracelet that has all the beads for every kind of cancer color. My bracelet has the pink for breast cancer, teal for ovarian, cervical, and uterine cancer, white for lung cancer, and purple for pancreatic cancer. We only knew 2 colors because Andi has ovarian cancer and I had breast cancer, the others on my bracelet are because I liked the colors. I never do crafts and I was intimidated by beads but I learned alot and it was fun!

Just This n That

2008-03-07T11:00:00.000-08:00

I haven't written on my blog for A LONG time! I guess I had nothing to say, huh? This picture has nothing to do with my blog but I thought it was pretty! It's our dogwood tree about a month ago with snow.
This past week I have been after school grandson sitting for my 2 grandsons, Andrew 10 and Austin 8. The make me laugh alot when their not making me crazy (er). Yesterday we went to the park and they were playing a modified version of kickball that should've been called "We change the rules every 5 seconds". Anyhow, at one point Austin declared they were having a "Mexican standoff" and because there's alot of Mexican Americans at the park all around us I corrected him and said, "Austin that's really not a nice thing to say." So about 10 minutes later when they were in the same jam Austin says, "We're having a White Man Stand-Off". I seriously laughed outloud!!!

I got tagged...

2007-10-06T22:12:00.000-07:00

THE RULES:1. Post these rules before you give you the facts.2. List eight (8) random facts about yourself.3. At the end of your post, choose (tag) someone and list their name (linking to their page).4. Leave them a comment on their blog letting them know they’ve been tagged
1. I'm a scorpio but I hate spiders.
2.I wore braces when I was a kid.
3. I married my high school boyfriend.
4.I'm fearful of almost everything.
5.I love books and love to read.
6.I have 2 brothers and one sister.
7.My mom died 25 years ago and I still miss her.
8.I LOVE to laugh.
I am tagging American Nympho in England but I don't know how to link to her page like the directions tell me.

Meth Heads Can Kiss My Ass

2007-10-05T12:59:00.000-07:00

This is going to be a rant so if you're not in the mood click on another blog. We live in the meth manufacturing mecca of the universe and one of the ingredients in that recipe is suphedrine (it has another spelling but I can't remember it right now). Now for normal people this ingredient is used to dry up your boogers but because it is also used for nefarious purposes I have to practically get strip searched to purchase 24 tablets. It's another case of MY RIGHTS being taken away because of a minority. GRRRRRR

Holly Golightly Lives On...

2007-09-20T12:30:00.000-07:00

I got this hat years ago at either a charity shop or a yardsale. Can't remember. I just knew when I caught sight of it that it was going to be my "Audrey/Holly" hat. It has been hanging on the wall in the guest bedroom forever and everytime I would go in there I could swear I heard Audrey Hepburn's voice ever so faintly. hmmm The color of this type is an ode to Tiffany's. Guess what? I actually wandered through a Tiffany's recently. Didn't purchase anything but had fun for free!!!

As Promised

2007-09-06T14:41:00.000-07:00

Well here's a few piccies of the finished product. I think I shall tease you by revealing the rest later. I'm so glad it's finished. New subject: My daughter and her hubbie are here from the UK because our son is getting married on Saturday. It's lovely having voices in the house again that are not eminating from my own head!!

El Bano es Cerrado

2007-08-26T21:04:00.000-07:00

My sweet generous misguided husband has decided to redo the main floor powder room. Of course it is turning out to be a MUCH BIGGER job than he thought. We will basically live at Home Depot and Lowes for the next 2 weeks of so. I have thus far kept my big mean mouth shut and just nod and bring him towels and tools. If it ever gets completed I will post the piccies of my new powder room.

Lesbians are Pregnant!

2007-08-24T12:37:00.000-07:00

Carly and Sarah are expecting a baby! Yeah. Actually it's Sarah who is preggers. These 2 pictures are from their wedding although it's not legal in Washington. Plus I thought the cake topper was alot of fun!! You go sistas!

Good Lord...

2007-08-08T08:59:00.000-07:00

While watching "COPS" with my husband last night my ears were assaulted with this phrase from a girl of 18 after she was arrested for stopping her car, getting out, and shooting several rounds..."But you don't understand, there's a bullet in my Jag!!!"

Nothin Much

2007-08-06T09:21:00.000-07:00

I was organizing some of my photos this morning and found this one from Quebec City, Quebec 2006. I guess it could be called old & new. New Subject: I cannot even express how much I loathe going to Lowe's and Home Depot. This past weekend I decided to be supportive of my husband's sudden desire to wreck (I mean remodel) parts of our house. I did discover the trick to getting an employee to ask if you need any help. You go sit in a chair at the paint mixing/window blinds section and start reading a magazine. I had 3 employees walk by, stop, and ask, "Have you been helped? My reply, "No, just waiting for my husband."

2 Headed Woman Gives Birth to BatBoy

2007-08-02T16:48:00.000-07:00

According to the newspaper this morning the Weekly World News will cease to publish their version of the "news" at the end of this month. This causes me much sadness. I have several great memories of bursting into laughter while standing in line at the checkout counter reading about the continuous adventures of Batboy, the multi-headed woman giving birth, the fact that Bush is an alien from another planet (okay that one was actually true), Elvis sightings (I especially loved the title "Elvis spotted at Walmart"; this is where Elvis shops???), Bigfoot travels to Australia, Pilots of jet take photos of Heaven, etc. etc. Now where am I supposed to find credible news??? OOHHHH the pain....

Laid Back

2007-08-01T11:03:00.001-07:00

My husband's brother and family were recently visiting our area. This is a photo from their parents livingroom. Who says you can't go home? Looks like my husband and his brother feel right at home. I guess watching tv was too tedious and they fell asleep.

Weeds vs Grass

2007-07-24T14:15:00.000-07:00

Why is it that weeds will grow on a friggin rock but grass won't grow even when you water it and tend to it??? It's a rhetorical question so please don't send me the scientific answer. Last evening around 8:30 it actually cooled down alittle and there was a slight breeze blowing. I forced myself to go out and pull weeds. At first the weeds were just pissing me off but the longer I worked the more chilled out I felt. It was kinda ZEN. And when I was done I felt superior to the weeds.

Things that make me go AHHH....

2007-07-23T14:46:00.000-07:00

My hubbie left early this morning on another business trip. This means I get the remote control!!!! Plus, I do not have to answer "What do you want to do now?" And I tend to not shower as much!!!

Good ole Summertime

2007-07-19T17:30:00.000-07:00

Just a picture of what's currently on my front porch. One flag is for us here in America and the other one is for my daughter and her hubby in the UK. I had another root canal performed yesterday. What fun!

HOTWIRED

2007-07-17T19:36:00.001-07:00

On Sunday evening a LIVE electrical overhead power line broke for a reason unknown to me and the line was laying across a neighbor's yard (see burned bushes) and her driveway. It was hissing, popping, almost a screeching sound while it was making sparks and yellow/white flames and dancing around her driveway. Of course all the power in the "hood" was out for approx. 4 hours. The fire engines came, the power people eventually turned off the power to that line and then repaired it. It literally burned/melted about 2 inches into her driveway! The downside was horrid noxious white smoke for about 2 hours. Anyhow, that's my excitement!!!

New Tree

2007-07-05T11:25:00.000-07:00

Our 2 old Birch trees died and after a HARD TOUGH job of removing them we replaced them with a Magnolia tree that is much smaller but hopefully will one day be glorious! You can see part of the Birch roots/stumps in the right corner of the picture.

Face Lift!!

2007-07-05T11:22:00.000-07:00

No Botox for me, I will just get a new looking Blogger page layout!!! I have to thank HST for helping me because I am shit with that sort of thing! It is HOT where I live. So I am trying my hardest to stay indoors with air conditioning!!

CELEBRATE Good Times, Come On!!

2007-06-21T13:44:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was 4 years since my mastectomy. I meant to write this yesterday but I FORGOT! How could I forget that? Feelin good and eatin chocolate and laughing my ass off just as the good lord intended.

The Velvet Touch

2007-06-14T11:17:00.000-07:00

I just watched a 1948 movie called "The Velvet Touch" starring Rosalind Russell. First of all I adore Rosalind Russell even if she was just reading the dictionary outloud. Secondly this movie has it all; there's camp, over acting, humor, great double entendre, and smashing couture. The plot line is that Rosalind's character has accidentally killed a man but another woman get's blamed. I also did a google search on Rosalind Russell and found a quote attributed to her that I love. "Taking joy in life is a woman's best cosmetic."

Something Cheerful

2007-06-11T10:56:00.000-07:00

I felt like it was time to move on from my sad blogs about death. One of my daughters was here on Saturday and we met at the DRUGSTORE named Starbucks with her friend and her friend's mom and hung out and laughed like hyenas. It was great. Her friend is getting married this summer so we were looking at a catalog of bridal gowns and GIRLY stuff. I am NOT a girly gal but I enjoy seeing pretty things just the same.

The Echo of her laughter...

2007-06-01T01:20:00.000-07:00

Jill has passed. And I borrow the words from others to express my grief:
"No one's death comes to pass without making some impression, and those close to the deceased inherit part of the liberated soul and become richer in their humaness" Hermann Broch
"..And when she shall die, take her and cut her out in little stars and she will make the face of Heaven so fine that all the world will be in love with night and pay no worship to the garish sun."
Shakespeare (he actually used the word he and him but I took liberties!)

Cancer's a Mother Fucker

2007-05-24T14:23:00.002-07:00

My friend Jill has put up a brave fight with Ovarian Stage 3 cancer since 2003. She and her husband have contacted our local hospice care and Jill's life is now in weeks and days. You would have loved her, she's a laugher. Always has a smile and a belly laugh! If you read this post would you just say "Jill" right outloud so that all over the world her existence is being aknowledged. Also, if you feel like it have a big old belly laugh.

An Iris by any other name...

2007-05-08T20:54:00.000-07:00

This time of year is just bursting with vibrant colors.

Spring Snow

2007-05-08T20:49:00.000-07:00

Well the blossoms have all fallen off the Dogwood onto the front lawn. As Marilyn's Shampoo called it: Blossom Snowstorm.

Dental work or maybe a stroke??

2007-05-07T15:17:00.000-07:00

This morning I had crown work done. I say it that way because they send you home with a temp crown for 2 weeks then you go back for the porcelain/permanent one. Anyhow, they give you a multitude of deadening shots for the area that they are working on. After I left the dentist office I was in the drive-up lanes at the bank and I took a sip of a drink I had and OF COURSE with my dead half lip, half tongue I drooled. As I was wiping my drool off and soooo hoping nobody had noticed I looked to my right and a woman in the next lane was staring at me!!! It's one of those moments where you want to roll down the window and yell "Dental work, I just had dental work, not a stroke!!!". But I just wiped off the drool and swallowed my pride.

Ceiling Fan

2007-05-05T09:39:00.000-07:00

Laying on the floor looking up at the ceiling fan kind of intrigued me so I took a picture. The knob that says CENTURY on the end of the pullchain is from some old appliance but I loved it so much I asked my husband to attach it to the chain. I really love old knobs (and yes, I had a smile on my face while writing that).

My Porch

2007-04-27T14:26:00.000-07:00

Not much to write about. Just outside with the camera today.

Side Effects Are.....

2007-04-27T14:23:00.000-07:00

There's an advert on tv for a drug called Lunesta that is for insomniacs. The purpose of the drug is to help you get to sleep and stay asleep for a restful 8 hours. I find it hysterically funny that at the end of the commercial the voiceover lists the side effects and one of them is DROWSINESS!!!! Is it just me who finds this comical?

Sensual Spring

2007-04-27T14:16:00.000-07:00

I have been inspired by Aethetic's beautiful photos and it led me to be able to photograph these.

Oh How Lovely

2007-04-23T12:37:00.000-07:00

I found this cardboard sign at a thrift store several years ago. I framed it and it hangs in our familyroom. It cracks me up on so many levels. The lady looks like she's on Valium (oh sooo happy) and the colors are unusual. I do like the black line drawings ie. the chair, the print on her dress, her earrings. There's no reason for this blog, I just like to take pictures in my LOVELY room......

Dogwood is Barking

2007-04-17T22:14:00.000-07:00

It's spring here so the Dogwood tree is blooming. The only downside is that right about the time the blossoms are opened wide and lovely a strong wind will blow them all off the tree. This has happened the previous 18 springs! But on the bright side it makes the front yard look like it has just snowed.

Walgreen's Illuminates Road to Hell

2007-04-17T22:00:00.000-07:00

Holy wattage Bat Man, this store is so bright I'm afraid a plane with land in the parking lot mistaking it for a runway. Also I think it's humorous that it's brand new, still empty and the "reens" part of the sign is already dead. I swear this store is even brighter than the photo shows. Also, if you're an avid reader of my blog you will recall that this is ACROSS THE STREET from RITE AID. I swear it's just a matter of minutes before I am blinded by a Starbuck's on the 3rd corner!!

Hoppy Eatster (ha ha)

2007-04-05T12:06:00.000-07:00

Remember to eat lots of good chocolate. Life's too short to mess with crappy chocolate. It's springtime and the tulips, crocus, daffodils, etc. are all in bloom. Awesome!

Erin Go Braless

2007-03-17T11:07:00.000-07:00

Here's a little of the green for ye on St. Paddy's Day. If you add Bailey's to yer coffee ye may even be able to see the wee folks a dancin on the lawn.

5 Shots at Starbucks

2007-03-09T11:37:00.001-08:00

This morning I went to the one Starbucks in town that has a drive-up window. Now the reason I go to Starbucks is because I am an addict and they have the legal drug that I crave (for the illegal ones I have to go elsewhere) but as I was ordering and using the Starbucks lingo/language I had a fleeting thought of wishing I never knew the words Latte, 5 shots, soy, vanilla, and venti. Yes, I want the java jolt but I feel like I have lowered my IQ just by being there and saying those words. But then all junkies know they have a problem and just want the rush. I was pondering whether in the future we will all have special language just for shopping like debit card, charge card, pin number, plastic or paper, etc and actual paper money will be extinct.

You Can Hear it on the AM Radio

2007-03-07T13:07:00.000-08:00

My husband found this Select-A-Tenna gadget at the Goodwill (Charity shop for those of you not Americans) and it reminded me of the song by Everclear about listening to the AM radio. I wish I knew how to do that thing where you could just click on Everclear and hear the song because it's a fun one. This gadget says on a tag on the bottom that it will make your weak AM radio signal more clear and loud. What I am wondering is "Does anyone listen to AM radio anymore?"

My Left Foot

2007-02-24T10:35:00.000-08:00

Literally, well okay it's in a slipper but you get the drift. Anyhow, I am waiting anxiously for the next hour and a half to pass so I can attend my grandson's 7th b-day party. Yeah Baby, this is what I do for excitement. But these little fellas really do crack me up sometimes. Like the other day Austin (the one who's having a b-day today) said to his cousin, "You smell like rice." And his cousin replied (with a lisp which made it even funnier), "Tahths becath I love rith." Okay, I was expecting Austin to finish his sentence with poop or farts or any other body function smell that boys usually "go to" for descriptives but just the fact that he said RICE cracked me up in the first place. Then when his cousin didn't even say," Shut up, you smell like rice" or another rejoinder and just stood in the moment (metaphorically) and claimed the RICE SMELL. These are the things that live in my brain and make me smile.

Old School

2007-02-18T14:19:00.000-08:00

This is what used to be the main office of my high school. Of course, even this rubble is no longer there because this photo was taken over a year ago. Now there's a shiny new building because in the community we live if a building is over 20 years old it's considered ancient and needs to be demolished. Then they move to a new site and build a brand new version.

Crane Spotting

2007-02-01T13:07:00.000-08:00

I would love to drive a crane plus I think it would be a hoot to drive one of those roller things that smashes shit.

Lucky Lucky ME

2007-01-31T13:05:00.000-08:00

One of the perks of having breast cancer and a mastectomy is that insurance will pay for what is called "lymph massage" because the cluster of lymph nodes under the armpit was messed with so it doesn't drain as well as it should. Well today is LYMPH massage day and I cannot wait. So I'm lucky to have a warm house to return to and lucky for about a million other things!! YEAH!

No Subject, No Point

2007-01-26T14:20:00.000-08:00

I enjoy the process of going to my Blogging space and popping around and seeing other people's artwork, etc. which mostly always make me feel inadequate and pleasure in equal measure. Go Figure. Inadequate because I feel eveyone else's stuff is better than mine but pleasure because the stuff I read and look at is fulfilling. So, just like I HAVE to drink my coffee at least once a day I also feel compelled to find a piccie and write something. Is there therapy for this?

I'm learning........

2007-01-21T11:32:00.000-08:00

The title of this post has a double meaning when coupled with the photo. The picture is of the high school that I graduated from in 1975 when dinosaurs still roamed the earth. Hence it is the place where I learned. Secondly I also learned how to shrink jpg picture files this morning and was able to also post this picture on my myspace!!! Yeah. Also, as a sidebar this building is no longer around as the entire high school has been remodeled and basically not even in the same place anymore.

Thursday Jan. 18 2007

2007-01-18T09:46:00.000-08:00

It snowed the other night. I had always thought that it had to be warmer than freezing to snow but I was wrong. It's been around an average of 20 degrees F here since last Friday night. So I'm wondering if Global Warming is only happening in certain parts of the world?

Repeat after me..."It's COLD"

2007-01-12T14:38:00.000-08:00

Lordy, it was 12 degrees F. here this morning. We live in what is supposed to be the banana belt of our state/region. Well, it's frozen banana time now so where's the whipped cream and cherries? My husband installed a heat pump recently and in case you didn't know this Heat Pumps are friggin useless in this kind of cold. The thing has been running steadily since the wee hours of this morning and it's still only 63 degrees in our livingroom. I guess I could always take up figure skating in the bathtub.

Myopic Relatives

2007-01-10T10:28:00.000-08:00

We live tooo near a nuclear power plant and this is the result.

Fun for Dummies

2007-01-04T11:01:00.000-08:00

I can't do alot of technical stuff online like links, etc. I barely can get into my email and send photos so being able to put pictures on my blog is akin to success for me! Therefore you will see alot of photos on my blogs that have nothing to do with anything but it's my entertainment! Ta-Da.

Happy New Year

2007-01-01T17:32:00.000-08:00

It seems weird to me that a new year has started which feels monumental but in reality life just putts along as usual. Seems like we should all have awakened this am to find ourselves with a different eye color, skin tone, accent, new name. But alas, there's the same 2 drugstores up the street across from each other, same cars driving down the street. Don't they know it's a NEW YEAR; A DIFFERENT ONE since yesterday? Okay, I'm being overly dramatic but it felt good to write that all down. Yeah, same old blog, new year.

Merry Christmas

2006-12-27T19:19:00.000-08:00

I'm just in a weird mood and wanted to say I had a great Christmas and even the days after have been good.

Goodwill is Awesome

2006-12-20T11:24:00.000-08:00

My husband bought this red leather couch at The Goodwill (for those of you outside US, you may call it a Charity Shop). Of course the Christmas presents were not on it at the time! So don't forget to shop at your local thrift shops you never know what you'll find.

Happy Birthday December 14th

2006-12-12T15:05:00.000-08:00

This cute fellow will be 79 on December 14th. It's my dad.

Rum a pum pum my ass

2006-12-11T14:49:00.000-08:00

I enjoy Christmas music. Doesn't matter if it's a Hip Hop rendition of a classic or Patsy Cline singing a carol for one month out of the year I want to hear this music. EXCEPT for the Rum a Pum Pum song!!!! Why does every singer decide they have to do their version of this song and also Why does the radio station feel compelled to play it constantly? I feel like if I hear another artist say, rap, or sing those words I am going to scream obscenties at the top of my lungs.

Easily Amused

2006-11-30T12:11:00.000-08:00

When I go on holiday, I waste time on photos like this!!! Oh well.

Christmas Shopping

2006-11-30T12:08:00.000-08:00

Needs no blog.

Silliness

2006-11-29T16:33:00.000-08:00

We saw a few of these signs while we were in England. One of them had the words "Elderly People" written below the picture. I assume it means watch out for old people and try not to run them down with your Mini Cooper but it just cracks me up.

Musings From Ruislip

2006-11-16T14:32:00.000-08:00

I am having a wickedly good time on holiday with my husband in England. I feel bad that we are not making it to Wales and Scotland to make the whole UK thing but I have seen some beautiful countryside and eaten WAY too many fish and chips and other good food. We spent yesterday and most of today in Brighton and I swear to you there are at least 500 tiny little stores crammed into this place they call THE LANES. It reminded me so much of the French Quarter in New Orleans before Katrina except The Lanes is cleaner with less nudey bars (as in none that I saw). I don't really have anything clever to write about except that I have been getting to watch some BBC programs and I have just about laughed till I peed!!!

Die Laughing

2006-11-07T11:36:00.000-08:00

I was recently reading (looking actually because it was a visual effect) another person's blog post and as several responses slipped hopelessely through the sieve that used to be my brain I started to ponder laughing while dying and I have decided that is exactly how I wish to go.

Let's Hug a Tree with Marilyn's Shampoo

2006-11-06T11:30:00.000-08:00

There's a blogger who goes by the tag "Marilyn's Shampoo" and she's all kinds of interesting but I do urge everyone to read her November 6th post "Cool Groovy Morning Fine..." I can be silly and irreverant most of the time but I also have empathy for the planet and other rational humans so I was really jazzed about her viewpoint and the comments also.

Small Minds

2006-11-03T09:36:00.000-08:00

My husband just returned home from a business trip and he had 3 hotel sized (small like 1 oz.) of shampoo and conditioners which he took out of his carry on and laid in their tray. They told him that he could not take them on the plane because they were not in a ziplock type baggie. He explained to them that they would all fit in a small baggie but they were NOT going to be tricked by this obvious terror threat in front of them sans baggie. The bottom line: No baggie NO Takey on Plane.

Another Door

2006-10-27T12:18:00.000-07:00

I've been going through my photos and realizing how many different doors I have photographed. hmmmm.

Soon Baby Soon

2006-10-25T11:19:00.000-07:00

This is where we were 3 and 1/2 years ago, seems like a lifetime. I am looking forward to seeing this and more in November.

Jolly Old England

2006-10-23T13:33:00.000-07:00

My husband and I have purchased our tickets and are counting down the days till our trip to England. I will celebrate my 50th b-day during our hols (as they say over there). My mom died at the age of 50 so it feels like a giant milestone for me to not only make it to 50 but hopefully live alot more years following! Also, the fact that in December of 2004 I "went to the very edge and came back" as my surgeon told me. He also added, "Not very many people do that". These are some of the reasons I welcome 50 with open arms.

Just Say NO to Drugstores

2006-10-17T18:52:00.001-07:00

One block from our house is an intersection with the main street in town. A week ago at this site there was a school yard on one corner, a house on another corner, a Rite-Aid Drugstore (for those of you in the UK you guys call them Chemists) on one, and a Chevron gas station with a mini-mart on the other. All my needs were met as North, South, East, and West converged. Giant machinery came crashing in on the Chevron and now on that corner is rubble. When the machines finally rest there will be a WALGRENS Drugstore. So we will have a Drugstore across the street from a drugstore. I shall just stand in the middle of the street and scream, "Anyone have an aspirin?"

Art Deco Lighting

2006-10-14T08:53:00.000-07:00

Doorways

2006-10-09T15:12:00.000-07:00

What is it about doorways that cause humans to take pictures of them? I thought it was just a weird quirk of mine until I have noticed other blogger's pictures include one or two shots of doors. Freud would undoubtedly (sp?) say it has sexual undertones, Far Eastern/Zen thought would probably have to do with "doorways to the soul or mind", the thief by necessity sees opportunity but I am left with wonder.

Speed Limit

2006-09-29T11:15:00.000-07:00

Boobies Boobies Boobies

2006-09-29T09:51:00.000-07:00

I am going to share my breast cancer story and if it helps ONE woman than it's well worth it. My regular doctor had given me the "slip of paper" to get a mammogram and I pinned it on the bulletin board and ignored it. For over a year I continued to ignore it. During this period I had to see that same doctor 2 times for totally different reasons (like a sinus infection) and every time I saw him he would make some comment like, "I don't see the results of a mammogram here in your records." And I would feel kinda guilty until I left his office and then forget about it. I had an appointment with him coming up and I KNEW he would ask me again about the mammogram so ONLY TO GET HIM OFF MY BACK I scheduled the mammogram which detected my breast cancer. This was in the spring of 2003. So, I had my left breast removed and started chemo. Yes, I got bald and threw up and felt like shit but I'm alive!!! There were some pretty funny moments along with the depressing ones. You have to understand that I was a TRIPLE D gal. Those puppies were enormous. So, I had one chopped off and that creates a bit of lopsidedness. I got a fake boobie (grownups call them prothesis) for the left side so I could wear a bra and not look too strange. One day I was tearing aound the house looking for my prothesis yelling, "I can't find my boob." Being bald was kinda groovy in some ways. Shampooing and grooming were a breeze! And no hair on legs or armpits was great! No eyelashes and eyebrows was not so much fun! BUT it grew back folks!!! In 2004 I had a surgical procedure where a plastic surgeon took skin, fat, and muscle from my back and brought it around front and formed a new breast. (FYI it's technically called a "mound" but I call it my boob). Then another procedure about 3 months later to reduce the right one to match my new lefty. So, I have a road map of scars but I love my new boobs! I must say having been a BIG BOOB gal for almost 47 years (okay, not quite that long because I wasn't born with them!!!) I really like having my B cup size ones better!!! I met some wonderful people on my cancer/chemo journey who helped change my life. My family and friends were the absolute BEST. Breast cancer does not have to be a death sentence it can be the opening paragraph for the story of your life.

Don't Be a Pushy Pig

2006-09-20T16:59:00.000-07:00

I have ordered my drink (Iced Mocha with soymilk) and the gal is making it when another customer whom I shall call "Miss Prissy Pants" throws herself in front of me and practically over the counter and says (all breathy) "Can I just have my cup filled (it was a travel type mug/cup) I am in a hurry, I have ice cream melting in the car." WHO ACTS LIKE THAT?? I was embarrassed for her as she doesn't even have the common sense to know that's not how to behave. The title of this blog comes from my husband. When he was in Kindergarten it was a saying his teacher would use. So, evidently Miss Prissy Pants skipped kindergarten, probably because she had something melting on the short bus.

The Bard

2006-09-16T21:20:00.000-07:00

Red Window Frames

2006-09-16T21:18:00.000-07:00

Best Dog in the World

2006-09-16T21:15:00.000-07:00

Rusty Pilings

2006-09-16T21:13:00.000-07:00

Columbia River at Dawn

2006-09-16T20:59:00.000-07:00

Threatening Toothpaste

2006-09-09T09:56:00.000-07:00

The source for this true story is "Deep Throat" and if the FEDS come knockin I will not reveal their identity. On Friday Deep Throat went through an airport security check with a tube of toothpaste undetected in it's carry-on luggage. The luggage went through the x-ray and was never opened or questioned in any way. Now the POINT of this tale is NOT "Yeah, I broke the stupid-ass rules". NO, the POINT of the story is that the Federal Avaition and Anti Terrorist restrictions and rules aren't going to work unless enforced. Either carry through with your mind numbing list of items that can be carried on an airplane or GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE.

HST Made Me

2006-09-09T07:28:00.000-07:00

1) Are you happy/satisfield with your blog and with its content and look?I was just happy to be able to open it at first but now I see all the cool things that other people do and I have envy and longing.2) Does your family know about your blog?Yes. Many of them read it and on a daily basis3) Do you feel embarassed to let your friends know about your blog or do you just consider it a private thing?Sadly I live a duplicitous life and I'm not sure I want some of those people reading my nasty swear ridden thoughts. 4) Did blogs cause positive changes in your thougts?No. 5) Do you only open blogs of those who comment on your blogs or do you open yourself up (I accidentally erased the rest of this)?I find myself going to someone's blog who made a comment but then leaping from there to all over the place. I have watched videos and heard bands I never knew about, etc. FUN6) what does visitor counter mean to you? Do you care about putting it on your blog?My daughter set it up for me and I NEVER read it.7) Did you try to imagine your fellow blogger a(I did it AGAIN!!!) The only reason I kinda want to see the real person is because I want to see how much of their blogging is fantasy. I kinda like the REAL deal no matter how many warts.8) Admit. Do you think there is a real benefit in blogging?For me there is, I can't say for anyone else. 9) Do you think that bloggers’ society is isolated from the real world or it interacts with events? Blogging has made me LESS isolated and more interactive.10) Does criticism annoy you or do you feel it’s a normal thing?What the fuck? Don't ever criticize me.11) Do you fear some of the political blogs?BRING IT ON. I love it.12) Were you shocked by the arrest of some bloggers?Is this another urban legend?13) Do you think about what will happen to your blog after you die?Hell no, I sometimes think about what my husband and kids will do but then I realize I'll be DEAD and it won't flippin matter.14) What do you like to hear? What song would you link to your blog?I would want to change it every hour to natch my mood and that would wear me out.

Quaint Quebec

2006-09-07T21:39:00.000-07:00

Woodstock Canadian Style

2006-09-07T21:37:00.000-07:00

Blue Door

2006-09-07T21:25:00.000-07:00

Birdbrained

2006-09-06T12:13:00.000-07:00

Recently I was awakened by birds, not by sweet melodic chirps or a ranting caw caw but the sound of misguided myopic avians smacking into the bedroom window. What the fuck? Perhaps it's this Bird Flu season upon them and in their feverish dementia they see a tree in the glass, or maybe they're temporarily blinded by a reflection, or maybe they've watched the news and the sound of BUSH'S VOICE trying to speak broken English sent them into a spiral of suicidal flight. YEAH, I think it's the latter.

New Babies and Old Grey Hair

2006-09-04T20:56:00.000-07:00

One of the guys who "lived" at our house during his junior and senior high days because he was one our son's friends just had a baby girl (okay, his wife HAD the baby) on Saturday. I got to go see them and the baby yesterday (Sunday). I was happy for the new little family but it made me feel incredibly old. But it was a thrill holding that little baby! These guys who used to fart, wrestle with each other and call one another fag are now all married and having families. WEIRD how life moves so quickly!

Boys will be Boys

2006-08-29T10:31:00.000-07:00

At a recent conversation with 2 of my nephews (ages 12 and 10) this is what I heard:
Me: How'd you get the black eye? (this ? directed at 10 year old)
10 yr old: My brother.
12 yr old: I DIDN'T DO anything.
10 yr old: My brother was on me and I had to go REAL bad.
Me: Your brother was ON you?
12 yr old: That's what I'm saying; I DIDN'T DO anything to him, I was just sitting on him.
10 yr old jumps in: And I TOLD him, I HAVE to go sooo bad if you don't let me up I will pee on you.
12 yr old: So he starts trying to get loose and he hit his eye on my knee. I didn't DO anything.
This entire convo cracked me up!! (probably because I'm not their mom!!!)

Run Forest Run

2006-08-27T10:19:00.000-07:00

I want to go running but I don't want to actually put on shoes, leave the house, or actually run. I'm going to call it cerebral athletics and I'll just picture myself doing it. Yeah that works. Today's blog; no subject; just random shit from the basement of my id. Basement needs cleaning that's a fact. Too much useless information gathered. I carefully stored a boxfull of feelings from Junior High School but now there's no room on the shelf for where I left my keys. Crap.

Moms Know Everything

2006-08-17T10:25:00.000-07:00

As some of you know, I have a dear friend who has ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease) and she can only move a few fingers, her head, and she can chew and swallow but someone has to feed her. Well, this gal single parented and raised 3 wonderful boys. Two of these boys are married but the youngest still lives at home. So, I'm over there visiting yesterday and "youngest" is packing to go on a camping trip. He comes into the room and says "Mom, where is my fishing pole?" (OKAY readers stay with me here.... SHE'S STUCK IN A CHAIR!!!!) My friend gets this "shit eating" grin on her face and says "I told you to put it away didn't I?" By God, she DID know where it was!!! She had one of her caregivers put it in a closet. She made him "work" alittle bit before she told him where to look. I tell you the MOM POWER is a force to be reckoned with even when she can't whip your ass.

Fuckin Terrorists

2006-08-10T13:26:00.000-07:00

Pretty soon we will have to go to the airport naked and take no luggage and be forced to buy all new clothing, etc. at our flight destination. Do NOT misunderstand me here; I do want safety on airplanes and I realize the airlines, airports, etc. have their hands tied basically. My anger and frustration is directed at the terrorists. Even if they blow up a million people they will NOT get their way. They are SERIOUSLY overdue for anger management classes and need a butt kicking.

Boob Perspective

2006-07-27T17:20:00.000-07:00

I have just read a few blogs with big breasts as subject matter. Aren't breasts, ta-tas, boobies, tits, jugs, etc. an interesting phenomenon? One day you're on the swingset pumping your legs and arching your back feeling the whoosh of air tickle your face, neck, and arms and you are the Princess of earth wind and fire. Then without warning your mom says "You need a bra, cover those up, you're a big girl now" (and all the other corresponding dialog). So, corsetted-up you begin your BIG Girl life. If I need to cover them they must be bad, why the need for camo? If I show them it makes others uncomfortable so for "Goodness Sake" I must cover. But the coin has another shiny side thus being "For Badness Sake" I tease, flash, look but don't touch and I control most eyes. The pen may be mightier than the sword but I'll wager a RACK beats them both.

Talk to the Hand

2006-07-13T09:10:00.000-07:00

Necessity prompted my phone call to Charter Communications (remember their company name because there is irony or it's cousin contained therein) the other day. I first ran through the gauntlet of: "If you want the Dutch language press 17" "If you want to be annoyed press 88" etc. Finally arriving at the: one reason I called Press 7. Fending off having euphoria to early into the torture routine I was greeted with a recorded voice. OH YEAH the one device in the universe that cannot understand when you answer a YES or NO question with a YES or a NO. The female recorded voice talked to me in childlike simplicity as to why I got stuck with it instead of someone who could ACTUALLY HELP. Evidently people who don't have a problem call Charter Communications (there it is again) just to DICK with them. The recorded voice went over things like "WAS the equipment plugged into an outlet?" and other useless information. Using the patience of JOB, I spoke outloud to a piece of equipment and tried my best to enunciate. It often had to prompt me again because it could not understand me saying HARD MULTI SYLLABLE words like Yes and NO. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and when asked for an answer I said nothing. It repeated the question 2 more times and each time I said nothing. Then it THREATENED to hangup. Can you believe it??? Threatened by a recorded
voice. Cripes. So, I just took matters in my own hands and repeatedly hit the "O" and in seconds there was a ringing answered by a HUMAN. Needless to say the human helped me with my problem and UNDERSTOOD yes and no and even harder words. I am not a total Luddite but I hope they don't install this mode of non communication at the 911 emergency call center.

Redundant Gay Rebuttal

2006-07-07T09:33:00.000-07:00

This is my blog so I can write anything I damn well please. What a great feeling of freedom that is. Seems small compared to alot of other things but it is huge. There was a time in my life when I didn't have any opinion about gays or straights. It never entered my teen aged realm of pimples and crushes and homework. Then one day when I was gazing lovingly at my three children who were very young there happened to be some comment about gays coming from the tv. I can't remember if it was a sexual innuendo, a slur, or any of the context except it made me THINK about the subject. My brain quickly jumped past the sexual act to ponder if one of my children was gay (I express it this way because I believe that a person is born with their sexuality hotwired into their DNA so even if I am looking at a 2 year old who hasn't had sex yet I consider that person to be gay just the same as blonde haired, brown eyed, etc.) and I realized in that moment I would not love my children any differently. Once I had made it personal that feeling expanded to the rest of the universe. Which makes me ponder about these people with gay bashing/hateful agendas.

Best Cappucino

2006-06-29T15:43:00.000-07:00

I will be the first to admit that I don't "get out"
much but I am telling you that this is a picture of
the best cappucino I ever saw and tasted. It is at
Le Grande Cafe, Quebec City and it's waiting for
you.

Green Means GO

2006-06-20T20:48:00.000-07:00

I hit the "crosswalk" knob on the metal pole and now it is MY Turn. I'm walking across the freakin street IN THE CROSSWALK when I hear a honk honk and a screeching voice that yells,"It's a GREEN LIGHT...GREEN LIGHT." This commotion was coming from the car behind the Driver's Training Vehicle that wanted to turn right! Can you believe it? First of all; Who honks and yells at the Driver's Ed car??? They have 2 large signs declaring for all to read that they can't fuckin drive yet. Plus there was a pedestrian in the crosswalk and I am HARD to miss folks (that's right I'm plus size at best.) Don't you just wish you could pull a" Samantha" on these road freaks? Like one little twitch of my nose and this screamer behind the Driver's Ed car would find her car with four flat tires. hmmmmmm

Walking in the Rain

2006-06-13T12:23:00.000-07:00

This morning I went for a walk in the rain sans brolly (that is what they call an umbrella in the UK). It was warm enough to not be chilly and the rain drops felt so refreshing. I almost jumped into a puddle from sheer joy but I didn't want to ruin my new shoes.

The Faux Beautiful People

2006-05-23T12:40:00.000-07:00

We are assaulted by images of what we are told are "The Beautiful People". I am surrounded by beautiful people and they have no similarity to what I am being told is "beautiful". There's my friends who are bald and radiant while undergoing chemo, lopsided from mastectomy but perfectly balanced, scarred but not diminished by brain surgery, trapped inside a body with Lou Gehrig's disease and remains brilliant. Every line and wrinkle on gorgeous faces are a tatoo of remembrance; a dead child, failed marriage, beginnings and endings. Where are you "pretenders to the throne; you fake beautiful people?" I fail to recognize you as I am blinded by the rainbow of beauty that I call friends and family.

Goin on a Roadtrip

2006-05-03T08:47:00.000-07:00

One of my daughters has invited me to a show called Celtic Woman this evening. Sounds interesting and fun. It's about 2 hours away and it appears to be a lovely day for a drive. Yeah. Also good news; my brother and his girlfriend are arriving home from the Mayo Clinic Hospital where she had undergone brain surgery last week. Fascinating procedure!! I got to view a video clip! All in all it's a good day.

Sadness Whisper Your Name

2006-04-25T14:37:00.000-07:00

Greetings this sunny afternoon (at least where I reside). I was feeling a little blue the last couple of days because my cousin Terri died after a courageous fight with stage 4 ovarian cancer. I popped in an old cd that I hadn't listened to for several years and was groovin to Kirsty MacColl. I decided I liked Kirsty so very much and she was cheerin me up somethin great until I did an internet search to find more albums by her and found out she's dead too!!! I realize the rest of the world knew she was dead 6 years ago and I am the slow poke here BUT none the less it's bummin me out.

Dianthus in the doorway

2006-04-17T13:02:00.000-07:00

This morning I planted a Dianthus (also known as carnation or sweet william or pinks) in a decorative pot on the front porch. Spring is here. The dianthus replaced a primrose that was starting to fade because the weather is warming. Where we live the primrose is usually the first flowering outdoor plant and it is so great to see their bright colors in February when the skies are still grey. The pot that has held both plants came all the way from England and was my Christmas gift from my daughter's mother-in-law brought over in my daughter's suitcase when she and her husband were here for the holidays. When I look at the beautiful fuschia (sp?) dianthus I see my daughter and her mother-in-law (a lovely English lady) and hear a faint sound of fairy giggles.

Pecker Trauma

2006-04-11T12:43:00.000-07:00

My dad comes out of his doctor visit today with a prescription for Viagra. If you have read my previous blogs you know that I get to drive Mr. Daisy because he's blind and I'm the sibling that "doesn't have a real job". Having to hear about bowel movements, enlarged prostate, etc. wasn't exciting enough for me and now I get to know that he's doing the horizontal mambo. I realize I should be happy for him that "floppy" gets to hop again but SERIOUSLY I do NOT want to know this shit. Plus there's a monetary equation here in that the pharmacy was running an hour and a half behind so he left the rx and I get to drive over and pick him up and take him there again tomorrow to pick up the goods. So the whole drive there and back using my gas and time will be for the sole reason that my dad can get laid. Cripes.

To Joe and Barb

2006-03-07T12:34:00.000-08:00

Congratulations on the engagement. I wish you both a lovely wedding, many groovy shower/wedding gifts, a nasty honeymoon, and a long life together.

Happy Boobies

2006-03-04T14:10:00.000-08:00

Unless you have had a mastectomy, worn a prothesis, had breast reconstruction, and a breast reduction on the "other one" you probably cannot understand my giddiness at wearing a bra. A REAL GIRLY bra with polka dots and a bow bra. I have been terrified of bra shopping not knowing my new size plus the humiliation of having to look in those HUGE surround mirrors at all my scars. So I have spent the last year and a half letting "the girls" flop around unrestrained. Which feels really comfortable by the way. One of my daughters sent me a bra (a FOREIGN bra from England) and low and behold it fit like a glove. So, hence the giddiness and contented ta-tas.

Helen Keller Wept

2006-02-28T12:48:00.000-08:00

Here's the dealio; my dad has been blind (as in: HAD HIS EYES TAKEN OUT OF HIS HEAD) since the age of 5. During the time I have been his driver/helper we have encountered some weird requests like the time at the social security office when he went to sign up for benefits and the guy across the desk from him wanted Proof he was blind. But today was a new LOW. Dad trys valiantly to write his signature on all kinds of documents. I would say rarely does his signature ever stay on the line but it has not been a problem before because people figure out he's blind and realize, "How the hell is this guy gonna write straight and on the line?" New girl at bank today says,"He needs to sign for a withdrawal". I say, "He did sign, right here." (thinking she was just reciting her new learned rules.) She says,"It HAS to be on the line." Then I realized she was FREAKIN (that's for you, Joe, didn't want to drop the F-bomb) Bank Teller Serious about that LINE. My brain CRAMPS and all I want to do is SHOUT OUT ,"What Homeland Security Ass Wipe Rule Lovin Monkey is going to care if my dad's sloppy childish penmanship is laying on the line?" But I didn't do that, I folded the withdrawal slip again on the signature line and guided my 75 year old dad's shaky hand where to begin again. Of course he was embarrassed and felt less than whole. But the world's a better place because he got that signature on the line.