Cancer has gotten the best of me temporarily. I started chemo (Taxotere and Cytoxan) in May 2009 again. Since I went through this all in 2003 you think it would be "same old same old" but my body has taken a beating and I am older and this time it's in my lung.
I haven't been able to make my brain, hands, emotions join together and be able to blog about this until right this moment....just felt right this morning.
I have been soooooo bummed about going bald again. It took me from 2004-2008 to grow all my hair back out and now I'm bald again. I realize hair is supposed to be no big deal BUT you have to understand MY HAIR was "MY DEAL". I do not have a beautiful face, lovely figure, don't wear makeup, or know how to put an outfit together BUT I had THE HAIR. Thick, wavy, long and it's what I hid behind. It's where I received all my compliments. It's pathetic to have used my hair as a prop but if you are honest we all have "OUR Thing" that makes us feel important. Perhaps it's a job title, an artistic talent, etc. If you lost that how would you feel?
But I have decided no more hats until the cold weather forces me. I have been going out in public with my bald dome and trying to forget about it.
I had my 6th chemo treatment yesterday and right now I feel lousy but this blogging is somewhat distracting.
If you have breast cancer or any other cancer and wanna leave a comment I would love it. Even if you don't have cancer I'd love to hear from you.
1 comment:
Almost didn't read your blog due to the language in the title. Glad I did. I find it difficult to believe that all you have (had) is your hair. I don't know you but after reading a few of your posts I see a warm, caring person with excellent communication skills and a zest for life that is not going to let this cancer thing win. Make yourself a challenge....rant all you want in your blogs about anythng and everything but in each and every blog say something positive about yourself.
Haven't developed the big C myself buy my mom passed away from it in 2002. Miss her big time. She was strong and brave to the end.
Keep your chin up and love yourself.
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