Boob Perspective

I have just read a few blogs with big breasts as subject matter. Aren't breasts, ta-tas, boobies, tits, jugs, etc. an interesting phenomenon? One day you're on the swingset pumping your legs and arching your back feeling the whoosh of air tickle your face, neck, and arms and you are the Princess of earth wind and fire. Then without warning your mom says "You need a bra, cover those up, you're a big girl now" (and all the other corresponding dialog). So, corsetted-up you begin your BIG Girl life. If I need to cover them they must be bad, why the need for camo? If I show them it makes others uncomfortable so for "Goodness Sake" I must cover. But the coin has another shiny side thus being "For Badness Sake" I tease, flash, look but don't touch and I control most eyes. The pen may be mightier than the sword but I'll wager a RACK beats them both.

Talk to the Hand

Necessity prompted my phone call to Charter Communications (remember their company name because there is irony or it's cousin contained therein) the other day. I first ran through the gauntlet of: "If you want the Dutch language press 17" "If you want to be annoyed press 88" etc. Finally arriving at the: one reason I called Press 7. Fending off having euphoria to early into the torture routine I was greeted with a recorded voice. OH YEAH the one device in the universe that cannot understand when you answer a YES or NO question with a YES or a NO. The female recorded voice talked to me in childlike simplicity as to why I got stuck with it instead of someone who could ACTUALLY HELP. Evidently people who don't have a problem call Charter Communications (there it is again) just to DICK with them. The recorded voice went over things like "WAS the equipment plugged into an outlet?" and other useless information. Using the patience of JOB, I spoke outloud to a piece of equipment and tried my best to enunciate. It often had to prompt me again because it could not understand me saying HARD MULTI SYLLABLE words like Yes and NO. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and when asked for an answer I said nothing. It repeated the question 2 more times and each time I said nothing. Then it THREATENED to hangup. Can you believe it??? Threatened by a recorded
voice. Cripes. So, I just took matters in my own hands and repeatedly hit the "O" and in seconds there was a ringing answered by a HUMAN. Needless to say the human helped me with my problem and UNDERSTOOD yes and no and even harder words. I am not a total Luddite but I hope they don't install this mode of non communication at the 911 emergency call center.

Redundant Gay Rebuttal

This is my blog so I can write anything I damn well please. What a great feeling of freedom that is. Seems small compared to alot of other things but it is huge. There was a time in my life when I didn't have any opinion about gays or straights. It never entered my teen aged realm of pimples and crushes and homework. Then one day when I was gazing lovingly at my three children who were very young there happened to be some comment about gays coming from the tv. I can't remember if it was a sexual innuendo, a slur, or any of the context except it made me THINK about the subject. My brain quickly jumped past the sexual act to ponder if one of my children was gay (I express it this way because I believe that a person is born with their sexuality hotwired into their DNA so even if I am looking at a 2 year old who hasn't had sex yet I consider that person to be gay just the same as blonde haired, brown eyed, etc.) and I realized in that moment I would not love my children any differently. Once I had made it personal that feeling expanded to the rest of the universe. Which makes me ponder about these people with gay bashing/hateful agendas.