Tuesdays with Chrissy........

This is the ONE blog that you need to send to all the people you care about. Unlike 99% of those Urban Legends about God in a pancake this ACTUALLY happened and it'll help you cope with the BULLSHIT that is called "The Real World". I have a friend named Chris who was diagnosed with A.L.S. (Lou Gehrig's) 18 years ago. Statistically she should be dead (so there's the FIRST groovy thing; Fuck stats when they pertain to people telling you when you'll die) . Chris has only slight movement of head, can tap one finger, can masticate food only if someone feeds her, has to be taken to the lav. and propped on crapper while she "does her business" and then has someone wipe her own ass , etc. You're starting to form a mental image, right? So, through all this life of hard knocks she is hysterically fun to be around. (now we're shifting in to the balls of the story so DON'T FALL ASLEEP). Chris loves a great chocolate like any REAL woman so I had brought her some. I cut each "bite size" (for us NON ALS people) piece into smaller sections and I was placing the bits by hand into her mouth and it DAWNS on me how this must really suck for her on sooo many levels so I say "Chris, I can't believe that you have to deal with me touching your chocolate before it goes in your mouth." AND CHRIS REPLIES, "Ahhh, could be worse." (Now whenever I say Chris is talking you have to insert voice which comes out sounding like a stroke victim) I snap back at her, "No, Chris I don't think that you can say that in your condition." She says,"Well, there could be NO chocolate or it could be shitty chocolate." I freakin laughed so hard and cried and it was an epiphanal moment for me.
So the point my fellow humanoids is that when you're up to your neck in life's shitstorm PLEASE take a deep breath and remind yourself "There could have been no chocolate or it could have been shitty chocolate."